How to Make Your Child Successful

It is futile to try to teach our children until they have obediently submitted to our authority. 

Children are a blessing and a gift from God. Most Christian parents desire to build scriptural convictions into their children’s lives, but many mothers and fathers do not know how to raise their sons and daughters in the nurture of the Lord. In the first part of an eleven-article series on parenting, Dr. Dunlap offers practical suggestions for training up children in the way they should go—not the way they want to go.

Children are a gift from the Lord. When God entrusts children to mothers and fathers, He holds us accountable for teaching our sons and daughters about salvation, and sanctification—how to grow every day in their relationship with Jesus Christ.

Most Christian parents desire to build scriptural convictions into the lives of their children, but many parents do not know how to carry out the command of Ephesians 6:4,

Do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Many Christian parents are searching for practical suggestions that would help them teach their children spiritual truths.

We find yet another challenge for parents in Colossians 1:28,

And we proclaim Him, admonishing every man, and teaching every man with all wisdom, that we may present every man complete in Christ.

How do we teach our children in such a way that we can be confident they will ultimately be complete in Christ Jesus? What practical steps must we take as parents to fulfill our God-given responsibilities?

First, no parent can teach a disobedient, unruly child. Until we establish firm, loving boundaries in the child’s life, and teach him or her to obey, we cannot accomplish the task of teaching him or her godly convictions. As parents, our number one priority is to learn and implement the biblical principles for lovingly subduing a child’s will, and properly disciplining him or her.

We should not frustrate ourselves by trying to teach a child until he or she has obediently submitted to our authority.

Every program of child training must be goal-oriented instruction. Dr. Howard Hendricks has often said, “If you aim at nothing, you’re sure to hit it every time.” Someone else has wisely noted, “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”

Many parents, who do not have clear child-rearing goals in mind, unwittingly raise their children to be dependent upon them. The most important goal for a Christian parent, however, is to raise a child who depends upon the faithfulness of God.

God charges parents with the responsibility of training up children in the way they should go—not in the way they want to go.

As Christian parents, we want the very best for our children. We want them to be successful. God’s Word tells us that the only way to experience a truly successful life is to walk in obedience to the Lord. The writer of Romans 5:12 confirms that our children all have sin natures, and therefore, must be taught how to obey God:

Therefore, just as through one man sin entered into the world, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men, because all sinned.

There are many different ways for parents to teach children, as Scripture commands them to. Everyday life situations often provide opportunities for teaching. We read a reminder to mothers and fathers in Deuteronomy 6:7 to take advantage of teachable moments as they present themselves throughout the course of every day. The first teachable moment of the day is when children “riseup.”

It is a good idea to try to wake up a few minutes earlier three mornings each week to conduct a brief Family Worship and then build from there.

The second opportunity for teaching referred to in this verse is when they “lie down.” When we tuck them in bed at night, it is a good idea to read a short children’s Bible story and pray with them. We have yet another teaching moment when our children “sit in their house.” As we share family mealtimes together, we might take turns telling each other how God led and protected us during that day. Finally, we can teach our children when they “walk by the way.” When we ride in the car, or take family walks, we could perhaps listen to Bible tapes or memorize Scripture together.

God honors every parent’s efforts to teach his or her children the necessary biblical truths and principles for living effective Christian lives.

The Blessings that Come from Honoring Parents 

As parents, we should understand that our lives are living epistles that our children are reading. 

God commands mothers and fathers to disciple their children, and teach them to observe all the biblical directives for living an abundant Christian life. Although many informal teaching moments present themselves throughout the course of every day, we must actually schedule time to formally teach our children about the things of God. In this second installment of an eleven-part series on parenting, Dr. Dunlap explores six ways for parents to teach their children obedience.

God commands mothers and fathers to disciple their children, and teach them to observe all the biblical directives for living an abundant Christian life. As parents, we often discover many informal teaching moments as we go through the course of our daily routines.

However, when we schedule times to formally teach our children, we should remember to consider the ages of our children, and the length of their attention spans. We should try to use a variety of teaching methods to maintain our children’s interest in the truths we are seeking to teach. Timing is also important. We should not attempt to teach young children, for example, when they are hungry, tired, or not feeling well.

Mothers and fathers should be aware of the fact that our lives are living epistles that are read by our children.

Parents also teach by example, whether it is positive or negative. The apostle Paul exhorted others to imitate his life, as he imitated Jesus Christ. It has been wisely suggested that Christianity is more “caught” than “taught.”

Children have a keen ability to sense whether or not an authority figure is living an authentic Christian lifestyle. It is foolish for us to try to communicate spiritual truths to our children that we ourselves are unwilling to embrace.

It is important for us to keep biblical goals in mind as we train our children.

Paul describes a training process in Hebrews 5:14,

But solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil.

Someone who trains for an athletic event practices the same thing over and over again, in order to be the best that he or she can be. Athletes maintain their motivation by focusing on the goal of winning. We train our children to walk in a manner that pleases God by focusing on certain teaching goals.

1.  We must teach our children to obey and honor their parents.

a.      We help our children memorize Ephesians 6:1-3 as soon as they can talk: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.”

b.      We train our children to be attentive by teaching them to acknowledge our commands. They should repeat our words back to us before they leave to carry out the command. Then they should report to us when they have thoroughly completed the task.

c.      We insist upon prompt obedience. Our goal is to lead our children to understand that to delay is to disobey. They should obey instantly, and not allow themselves to be distracted by other people or activities.

d.      We explain to our children that in order to be obedient they must understand what we want them to do, and exactly how we want them to do it. We should encourage our children to ask questions if they do not have all the information they need to obey us.

e.      We expect our children to obey cheerfully, without murmuring or complaining. They should be aware of the fact that grumbling displeases God and dishonors their parents.

f.        We teach our children the principle of a biblical appeal. If their parents or any other authority ever asks them to do something that violates Scripture, they are responsible before God to respectfully make an appeal.

Want to Teach Your Child Godly Character? 

As parents, we must teach our children obedience as a foundation to all other scriptural principles. 

Many Christian parents, who have a genuine desire to raise their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, are not certain of exactly what it is they are supposed to teach them. The Bible identifies at least ten areas of spiritual truths that parents must communicate to their children. In the third part of an eleven-article series on parenting, Dr. Dunlap examines the necessity for parents to teach their children sound doctrine, biblical standards, godly values and decision-making.

Many Christian parents, who have a genuine desire to raise their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, are not certain exactly what it is they are supposed to teach them.

1. As parents, we must teach our children obedience as a foundation to all other scriptural principles.

The Bible identifies at least ten areas of spiritual truths that we, as parents must communicate to our children. According to Scripture, we should have a vision for three generations—we must also teach our “children’s children.” Our first responsibility is to teach our children the principle of biblical obedience to authority. Our second goal is to be certain that our children are rooted and grounded in solid doctrinal truth.

   2.  We teach our children sound doctrine.

The writer of 2 Timothy 3:15-17 addresses this solemn responsibility:

From childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work. 

God calls each one of us to teach our children how to know Jesus Christ personally, and how to be thoroughly prepared for living righteously and ministering effectively.

3. We teach our children proper biblical standards and godly values.

God’s people live by a different set of standards than the world adheres to. Christians are mindful of the fact that heaven—not earth—is our real home. Our goal ought to be to instill godly character qualities in our children’s lives. Paul declares in Romans 8:29, “For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son.” There can be no higher parenting goal than to help our children desire to be conformed to Christ’s image.

Jeremiah 9:23,24 is a powerful commentary on the differences between the world’s value system and God’s priority structure:

Thus says the Lord, ‘Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, and let not the mighty man boast of his might, let not a rich man boast of his riches; but let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the Lord who exercises lovingkindness, justice, and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things,’ declares the Lord.

We should challenge our children to value the eternal things of God over the temporal, fleeting things of this world.

4. We teach our children how to make wise, biblical    decisions. Jesus instructs us in Matthew 6:33, “Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” We find this promise in Proverbs 16:3,

Commit your works to the Lord, and your plans will be established.

Children need to grasp the surpassing importance of basing all their decisions in life on scriptural principles. We should challenge our children to examine their options in light of this question, “How will this particular course of action line up with the truths of God’s Word?”

We ought to read the Book of Proverbs aloud to our children on a regular basis.

Proverbs is a valuable teaching tool because it contains vivid word pictures of God’s divine wisdom. In this book, we find practical instruction on how to avoid foolishness as we conduct our daily lives. We learn how to deal lovingly and justly with other people. As we read the Proverbs, we come to see that our natural inclinations lead to ruin, but God’s ways lead to life.

How Important is Biblical Stewardship for Children? 

It is essential to teach children, at a young age, the principle of biblical stewardship. 

God entrusts every person with certain talents, skills and abilities. He also entrusts His children with varying amounts and types of material possessions. He gives us all the priceless gift of time. In the fourth segment of an eleven-part series on parenting, Dr. Dunlap encourages parents to teach their children at a very young age, the importance of using their abilities, possessions and time, to honor and glorify God.

Parents often come to my office asking for suggestions that will help them teach their children biblical principles for successful Christian living. I suggest that first they teach their children to honor and obey their parents. Second, I explain how to teach them sound doctrine. The third step in training their children should be to communicate to them godly standards and values. Then, I challenge parents to teach children how to make wise decisions.

I emphasize the supreme importance of the fifth step—teaching our children at a very young age the principle of biblical stewardship—of their talents, their money, and their time.

5. We must teach our children how to be good stewards.

a.     God entrusts every person with certain talents, skills and abilities. The writer of Romans 12:6-8 addresses the varying gifts that Christians possess:

And since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let each exercise them accordingly; if prophecy, according to the proportion of his faith; if service, in his serving; or he who teaches, in his teaching; or he who exhorts, in his exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness.

Children should understand from a very early age that God bestows many different gifts and graces upon His children. We must encourage our children to embrace these differing abilities and perspectives, and to celebrate the diversity that exists among members of the Body of Christ. We ought to challenge children to exercise their abilities and talents as soon as they are able to do so.

b.     God entrusts every person with varying amounts and types of material possessions. We read in 1 Timothy 6:17,18

Instruct those who are rich in this present world not to be conceited or to fix their hope on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy. Instruct them to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share.

We must teach our children to be faithful stewards of their money. Young children are capable of grasping the concept of tithing. They should begin to tithe a portion of their earnings or allowance as soon as they begin to receive money of their own. Jesus asks his listeners in Matthew 16:11,

If, therefore, you have not been faithful in the use of unrighteous mammon [money], who will entrust the true riches to you?

We ought to challenge our children with Jesus’ warning in Matthew 6:19 not to store up treasures on earth, but to lay up, for themselves, treasures in heaven.

c.      God entrusts every person with the generous gift of time. We find this exhortation in Ephesians 5:16, “Make the most of your time, because the days are evil.”

God has not promised us any time except the present moment in which we are living. Children need to understand how to value every day that God allows them to live. We should teach them to view time as a precious commodity that must never be wasted. We ought to encourage them to strive to honor God every day of their lives.

Teaching Your Child to Serve with Contentment 

Do you want to raise content, servant-hearted children who are eager to help others? Learn how! 

Two of the most important character qualities a child can possess are godly contentment and a servant’s spirit. In the fifth article of an eleven-part series on parenting, Dr. Dunlap offers practical suggestions for how to invest these qualities in our children’s lives. He emphasizes the importance of diligence, cheerfulness and selflessness. He suggests that above all, we should spend some time every day praising God with our children for His many blessings in our lives.

God’s Word charges Christian parents with the unique privilege of raising their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. In my efforts to guide parents through the confusing maze of secular child-rearing philosophies that abound in our culture today, I suggest ten areas of biblical instruction that parents should address in their children’s lives. This is a continuation of those ten principles.

6.      Teach your child how to be content, and how to begin each day with praise and thanksgiving.

Emphasize to your children, the truth of Proverbs 22:1, “A good name is more desirable than great riches.” Teach them, from the beginning, to fix their eyes on the unseen, which is eternal, rather than on what is seen, which is temporary and will pass away, according to 2 Corinthians 4:18. Explain to them that because our hearts are naturally greedy, we are never satisfied with the accumulation of “things.” We always want more.

Help your children to realize that possessions will never make them happy. Do not encourage them to set their heart on making large sums of money. Encourage them, instead, to pursue godliness with contentment. Remind them often of 1 Timothy 6:8, “If we have food and clothing, with these we shall be content.”

Praise and thanksgiving are integral parts of contentment. The writer of Psalm 118:24 proclaims,

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. 

One of the most valuable tools that a parent can give a child is teaching him or her to seek God first every morning, before he or she begins the daily routine.

As you conduct regular family worship with your children, remember to spend part of each session praising God for specific aspects of His character, and thanking Him for His gracious acts of lovingkindness in your life and in your children’s lives. Our sinful hearts are not naturally inclined to praise and thank God. It is a habit that we must consciously and actively cultivate, but one that will reap mighty spiritual dividends throughout our lives.

7.      Teach your child how to have a servant’s heart and how to love others unselfishly.

Servanthood is one of the most important concepts in the Christian life. One of the first songs that we teach our own children when they are very young is, “If you want to be great in God’s kingdom, learn to be a servant of all.” Familiarize your children with Philippians 2:3,4:

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

Design family service projects for you and your children to carry out on a regular basis. Take them to rake leaves for widows in your church congregation. When you hear of a friend who is ill, go with your children and clean the friend’s house. Bake cookies together to welcome new neighbors, and volunteer to visit elderly people together in nursing homes.

Elisabeth Elliot beautifully describes the essence of the Christian life as, “My life for yours.” Teach your children to serve cheerfully and diligently, with no expectation of reward. Jesus Christ emptied Himself of His kingly rights and became a bond-servant for us. We ought to demonstrate to our children by our godly example, that Christians must be eager to lay their lives down in loving service to others.

Fortifying Your Children Against Satan’s Schemes

Understand how to fortify your children against Satan’s onslaught as they grow into adulthood. 

Satan has a plan for our children’s adult lives. He desires to fragment their families, disintegrate their marriages and invalidate their Christian testimonies. If we think ahead to typical scenarios of suffering and persecution that our children will most likely encounter as adults, we can help to fortify them against Satan’s schemes. In the sixth of eleven articles on parenting, Dr. Debbi Dunlap tells us how.

Many Christian parents express to me a desire to raise children that walk in a manner that pleases and glorifies God. They are often confused, however, as to how to practically carry out the Ephesians 6:4 command to bring their children up in the “instruction of the Lord.”

This is a continuation of the ten areas of biblical instruction that I frequently recommend to parents.

8.      Teach your child how to solve problems biblically, and how to respond properly to suffering and persecution.

An alarming number of children who grow up in distinctively Christian homes, do not know how to find solutions from God’s Word to the various problems that they encounter as they venture into the adult world.

The writer of 1 Corinthians 10:13 assures us,

No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it.

Unless children are thoroughly familiar with the principles of how to live an obedient Christian life, they will soon find their faith shipwrecked.

As your children are growing up, talk to them often about possible scenarios that they will face as adults. Use the question and answer method to stimulate their interest in discussing pertinent issues. For example, “Jason, what if someday your boss tells you he’ll fire you unless you agree to lie to your customers to make your business look better?” Or, “Susan, what do you think you’ll do if your best friend tells you that she’s been unfaithful to her husband?”

These hypothetical situations are typical of common occurrences in the everyday lives of Christians. Parents, be prepared to discuss these situations, as well as many others, with your children during their formative years. It is a worthy goal to instill godly character in them and equip them to make informed biblical decisions when problems arise in their adult lives.

Encourage your children to heed Jesus’ warning in Matthew 7, “Everyone who hears these words of mine, and acts upon them, may be compared to a wise man, who built his house upon the rock…and everyone who hears these words of mine, and does not act upon them, will be like a foolish man, who built his house upon the sand.”

Parents are responsible to see to it that their children’s lives are built upon the rock of Jesus Christ. Then they will be fortified to withstand Satan’s attempts to fragment their families, disintegrate their marriages, and invalidate their Christian testimonies.

Romans 12 is a key passage for instructing children in how they should respond to hardship and mistreatment in life. Acquaint them with all of God’s commands regarding forgiveness, doing good to our enemies, and praying for and blessing those who persecute us. They will not succeed in living an abundant Christian life unless they fully understand the concept of sanctification through suffering.

Parents ought to teach children that according to Romans 8:28, God uses every circumstance and every trial that touches them, to accomplish His purposes in their lives. Seek to communicate to your children the vital scriptural truth that “rain falls on the just and the unjust,” and God does not spare Christians from pain and hardships. Challenge your children to long to know Christ both in the power of His resurrection, and in the fellowship of His suffering.

Teaching Children the Rewards of Obeying Authority 

Unless children know how to submit to God-ordained authority they will be unsuccessful in life. 

Have you sometimes thought that you will prepare your children for marriage roles, as they get older? In this thought-provoking article, the seventh in an eleven-part series on parenting, Dr. Dunlap urges parents to begin preparing children when they are very young for their future roles as husbands, wives and parents. He also encourages parents to teach children how to respond properly to authority.

There are two final goals that Christian parents must consider in their efforts to raise their children in the discipline and training of the Lord. One is to equip their children for marital and parenting responsibilities, and the second is to teach them to respect God-ordained authority.

9.      Teach your child to be a good husband, wife or parent.

Parents often put off, or altogether ignore, the task of teaching their children the biblical roles for husbands and wives. They assume that they have plenty of time to fulfill that responsibility. The truth is, however, that parents should begin to prepare children for marriage when they are very young.

The earliest marriage preparation lessons should be drawn from 1 Corinthians 13. Children learn what agape love is by witnessing their parents, as they love one another unconditionally and selflessly.

Familiarize your sons and daughters with the commands of Ephesians 5:22-25:

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church…Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.

Children should understand that when they assume their God-given roles in a cheerful and obedient manner, they will avert many potential marriage problems. They will also experience marital harmony and fulfillment, rather than competition with their spouses, and confusion in their homes.

10.  Teach your child to respect God-ordained authority.

Be certain that you instruct your children regarding the biblical requirement for all men and women to be under authority. Secular philosophy will seek to entice them to rebel against authority, and to try to find their freedom in defiant independence. Lead them to memorize the command and the accompanying warning of Romans 13:1,2:

Let every person be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God. Therefore he who resists authority has opposed the ordinance of God; and they who have opposed will receive condemnation upon themselves.

Direct your children to Hebrews 13:17:

Obey your leaders, and submit to them, for they keep watch over your souls, as those who will give an account.

Teach them the importance of learning how to obey leaders in a way that brings honor to God and opens the door for witnessing opportunities.

Three suggestions are especially helpful as you teach your children the biblical principle of submission:

a.                 Take initiative to overcome any obstacles that would stand in the way of accomplishing a task that has been assigned to you. Ask God for the wisdom to be creative, and be determined to persevere, no matter how difficult the job is.

b.                 Make no excuses for not carrying out a job according to instructions. Fulfill little commands, as well as big ones, realizing that attention to details is often what makes the difference between success and failure. If necessary, ask for further clarification of instructions if you do not understand how to do a particular job. Be attentive when you receive the instructions.

c.                 Act immediately, cheerfully, and diligently the first time a command is issued. When you immediately respond to a command with a smile, you imply that you are happy to carry out your duty. God strictly forbids grumbling and complaining, or a slothful, forgetful attitude. Put all your energies into accomplishing each task and do not be guilty of daydreaming, or half-hearted efforts.

These ten areas of instruction all serve as guidelines to parents who genuinely and earnestly desire to raise their children in the reverence and fear of the Lord.

Forget Perfect Parenting! 

We can’t parent perfectly but we can learn to cultivate loving relationships with our children. 

Most Christian parents want to raise their children to live lives that please and glorify God. Many parents, however, have serious questions as to how to practically accomplish that goal. In the eighth article of an eleven-part series on parenting, Dr. Dunlap offers many practical suggestions for raising children lovingly and conscientiously.

Parenting is a high calling from God. When He blesses a man and a woman with a child, He entrusts them with a treasured gift. Children need to be loved, hugged, encouraged, admonished, nurtured, and tenderly guided through infancy, childhood and adolescence.

There is no such thing as perfect parenting. Men and women, mothers and fathers all have sin natures. The story of the Prodigal Son underscores the truth that even extraordinary parenting does not necessarily produce a desirable child.

The parable in Luke 15 implies that the father was loving and conscientious. Yet his son rejected his father’s values and left his home to live in open rebellion against him.

Although God gives mothers and fathers no guarantees as to their parenting efforts, there are some helpful practices that Christian parents should cultivate in their relationship with their children. Because many of these suggestions do not come naturally, it is wise to keep this list handy so that you can review it periodically in order to evaluate your progress.

1.      Demonstrate good manners to your children by thanking them for special things they do.

Take the time to thank your children for the artwork they make for you. Comment on how much time they must have invested in it to make it look so nice. Courteously thank your child for any act of kindness he performs, such as bringing you water, for example.  Model before your children, the attributes that you want to see them demonstrate in their own lives.

2.      Listen carefully when your child wants to talk to you.

Stop what you are doing. Lay your book down, or put your work aside. Give your child your undivided attention. Make eye contact with him or her. Don’t hurry your child, or finish his or her sentences. Allow your child ample time to express himself or herself, and then give affirming feedback.

Children demand a lot of attention and, therefore, we cannot give in to their every attempt to interrupt us. However, a surprisingly few moments of this type of interaction each day, will serve to reassure them that you consider communication with them an important priority.

3.      Give your child some responsibility, and express your  confidence that he or she will be able to accomplish the task well.

Be patient with young children who are slow. Do not expect them to perform beyond their capabilities. Ask God for the grace to lay aside any notions of perfectionism. This deals a deathblow to a child’s motivation. Let children know that their efforts please you. Offer loving guidance, but don’t criticize them. Resist the urge to re-do a child’s job. Each child will become increasingly competent, as he or she grows older. First, build a child’s confidence in his or her abilities. Over time, teach him or her thoroughness and efficiency.

4.      Laugh often with your child.

Relax and enjoy your child. Lighten up and try not to take things too seriously. God’s Word tells us that laughter is medicine for our souls. Find humor in your own human frailties and teach your child that it is healthy to laugh at one’s self.

Never laugh at your child. A parent who ridicules a child deeply wounds his or her spirit. Instead, teach children that a healthy sense of humor will hold them in good stead throughout their lives.

Parenting Can Be Fun—Really! 

Your children thrive on affirmation. Learn how to enjoy the early parenting years more fully. 

Our society offers parents a confusing maze of child-rearing philosophies. Yet, so few of these philosophies actually seem to be effective. In the ninth segment of an eleven-part series on parenting, Dr. Dunlap offers seven helpful suggestions for maintaining the joy of parenting during the “high maintenance” years when your children are young.

Parents of young children can hardly envision the day when their precious youngsters will be leaving home to go to college, or to be married. Many mothers and fathers of adult children will attest to the fact, however, that the day will come sooner than you can imagine. It will seem like only yesterday that you had them close by your side. Do not allow the difficulty of these “high-maintenance” years to rob you of the joy of parenting these precious little ones.

5.      Help your child learn something new.

God creates children with a natural curiosity. They are eager to learn and you are their first teacher. A two-year-old child delights in catching a big ball. Catch lightning bugs with a three-year-old. Find shoe skates at a garage sale and help a four-year-old skate up and down the driveway. Attach training wheels to a small bicycle and encourage a five-year-old to learn to ride a bike. Every new accomplishment builds his or her self-confidence.

6.      Read the Bible to your child and talk about God with him. Pray together.

There are many excellent Bible storybooks written especially for young children. Remember to be considerate of a young child’s short attention span. The stories will often prompt questions in your child’s mind. Encourage children to talk about their questions with you. Remind your children often, even before they learn to talk, that they are gifts to you from our Heavenly Father.

Teach children to quote verses such as, “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth,” and “Children, obey your parents, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord.” Familiarize children with the knowledge that God is our Creator and loving Father.

7.      Expect your child to obey, and discipline his or her disobedience with appropriate measures.

Seek never to discipline your child in anger. Remember to tell your child what he or she did wrong, and be certain to obey God’s command to train your child. Tell your child specifically how to fix the problem—what he or she should do differently next time. After you administer discipline, hug your child and reassure him or her of your love.

8.      Forgive your child immediately.

You are God’s ambassador to your young child. You represent His standards of discipline, and your disciplinary methods should reflect His firm lovingkindness.

Do not hold a grudge against your child. Refrain from using the silent treatment to punish his or her disobedience. Never bring up past offenses against your child. Be certain that you do not speak negatively about your child in his or her presence.

9.      Always speak about your child’s dad/mom with loving respect.

Take opportunities throughout the day to point out to your child, good qualities in your spouse. Verbally express a grateful spirit for the things the child’s other parent does for him or her. Strive to set a godly example for your child by demonstrating agape (unconditional, Christ-like) love for your spouse.

10.  Keep your promises to your child.

Do not make promises to your child that you cannot keep. Be as good as your word. Teach your child that he or she can depend on you. Expect your child to be honest and reliable when he or she makes a promise.

11.  Ask your child for forgiveness when you make a mistake, and be free with your praise.

Children will be quick to humble themselves and ask forgiveness when they fail, if their parents model the role of humility before him. Do not be afraid to admit to your child that you make mistakes. God, alone, is perfect. Find ways to praise your children every day. They thrive on your affirmation.