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Family Worship Series
Family devotions don’t have to be long and
complex to be meaningful. |
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Family devotions don’t have to be long and
complex to be meaningful.
Understand the four natural “teaching
moments” that occur during the course of every
day.
If you think there’s not enough time for
family worship you may want to re-think your
reasons.
Have you thought about whether your home is a
place of entertainment or an educational center?
Are you “running out of gas” in your efforts
to lead family devotions? Set simpler goals.
Each child must understand that he or she
plays an important role in maintaining family
routines.
All out of ideas for creative family devotion
times? Read on for some helpful suggestions.
Want to raise children who know how to pray?
Pray aloud with them and ask them to pray with
you.
The Faith, Obedience and Sin Principles are
three important truths we must teach our
children.
Family devotion time is a prime opportunity
to invest life-changing principles in our
children.
Parents are responsible to help their
children steward their possessions and choose
godly friends.
If your daily schedule is crowding out family
devotions you can simplify and reach your goals.
As parents we must not neglect to build godly
character into our children’s lives. Read how!
Our children must possess godly character in
order to impact their world for Jesus Christ.
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Keeping
Family Worship Simple
Family devotions don’t have to be
long and complex to be meaningful.
Do the words “family altar”
intimidate you? Are you hesitant to begin having
regular devotions with your family, because the
prospect seems too difficult and time-consuming?
In the 1st of 20 articles on family
devotions, Dr. Debbi Dunlap explains that we are
more likely to stick with a plan that is not
long and complicated. He discusses how we can
begin to develop a family devotional plan that
is perfectly suited for our unique family unit.
After the
breakfast dishes are cleared away, Jim and Susan
call enthusiastically to their children, “Time
for family worship!” One by one, Josh, 14,
Amanda 8 and Kevin, 3, file into the living room
and plop down on the sofa. With eyes half closed
they rally themselves when Jim admonishes them
to “look alert.” “When will this be over?” Josh
asks his dad. “I’ve still got some homework to
finish up.” “Do we have to do this
every morning?” Amanda whines. “My friend
Caitlin’s mom only makes them have family
devotions twice a week.” “I’m sleepy!” announces
Kevin as he curls up and lies down on the
carpet.” Thus begins another exciting episode of
“Can we survive family worship today?”
Many parents
want to know the best time to have family
devotions and what materials and resources are
best.
Many couples
that come for counseling ask me about family
worship. Most Christian men feel overwhelmed by
the challenge and unequipped for the task of
leading their wives and children in family
devotions. Many Christian women, who for various
reasons are charged with the leadership of
family worship, feel the same way.
They want to
know when to do family worship, how to do it,
and what materials and resources to use. They
want to know, above all, how to make their
family devotion times interesting and
meaningful.
If our plan
gets too complicated we probably won’t stay with
it for very long.
If you are a
single parent, the material presented in this
series of articles should be applicable to your
situation as well. The important thing to
remember is that family worship need not be long
or complicated. It should, however, be as
consistent as possible. We are usually more
prone to stick with a plan that is simple and
workable.
We maintain
the same basic plan, but we constantly modify it
as we see what works best from season to season.
Over the past twenty years of our
parenting experience, my wife and I have tried
numerous approaches to conducting family
worship. Over time we have developed a family
worship plan that we can comfortably implement.
We have ten children, seven of whom are under
the age of thirteen. We have, of course,
continually modified our approach and our
teaching methodology, according to the changing
configuration of our growing “tribe.”
In this
series on family devotions, we offer you the
product of our ongoing efforts to daily weave
the Lord Jesus Christ into our children’s lives
in a manner that is appealing, winsome and
uncompromising.
You may wish
to use a few of our suggestions after
considering them prayerfully. However, we do not
recommend trying to duplicate the family worship
time of any particular family. There is no “one
right way” or right time to conduct family
devotions. God has created each family uniquely
different and each family must discover the plan
that works best for them. |
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Four Daily “Teaching Moments” for Parents
Understand the four natural
“teaching moments” that occur during the course
of every day.
Does it seem that you
cannot squeeze another activity into your
already overscheduled daily routine? Does the
thought of a 30-minute family devotion time each
morning seem impossible? Be encouraged! In the 2nd
of a 20-article series Dr. Dunlap suggests a
15-minute plan, three times a week. He discusses
the four natural teaching times that occur each
day and explains how to seize the opportunity to
train children in the midst of those brief
moments.
“How can we
make our family devotion times meaningful?” I
often hear this question in my counseling
practice. “I don’t want to bore my children and
make them dread family worship,” parents tell
me. Yet they are committed to the concept of
family altar and want practical suggestions for
making family worship something the entire
family looks forward to.
We should
talk to our children about the Lord in the
morning, at night as we go to bed, at mealtimes
and when we ride in our cars.
Deuteronomy
6:4-7 is a sobering command for parents who
desire to raise their children in the nurture
and admonition of the Lord:
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is
one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart
and with all your soul and with all your
strength. These commandments that I give you
today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them
on your children. Talk about them when you
sit at home and when you walk along the
road, when you lie down and when you
get up.
Utilize the
four natural “teaching moments” that occur
throughout the course of an average day.
Most families
today live in a constant whirlwind of
activities. Often both Mom’s and Dad’s work
schedules must be considered. Many single
parents juggle the demands of two jobs. Every
parent is called, nevertheless, to obey the very
practical directives of the Deuteronomy command.
Talk to your
children about God’s goodness as you “sit at
home” together to eat a meal. Ask each child
to share one blessing from his day with the rest
of the family. As you hug them goodnight, or
tuck them into bed, pray with them. As they “lie
down,” take five minutes to read them a
Proverb from the Bible, or an Arch book, for
example. Arch books are individually published
Bible stories that are beautifully illustrated,
and written in poetry form. Best of all they are
short.
As you “drive along the road”
(most of us don’t walk to our destinations
anymore,) quote scripture verses together. Keep
an index card taped to your car dashboard with a
short Bible passage written on it. You may need
several weeks to memorize it together, but make
an effort to commit a small portion of it to
memory each time you “drive along the road.”
A
fifteen-minute family devotional plan is an
excellent place to start.
Finally,
teach them the ways of God as you “get up.”
Formulate a simple, solid plan for family
worship and set aside a block of time each
morning to begin your day with Christ, as a
family unit. Begin with fifteen minutes and as
you implement your plan, progressively build
from there if you choose to increase your
devotion time.
You will be
encouraged by the spiritual dividends that will
result from your time investment in family
worship. |
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Making
Time for Family Worship
If you think there’s not enough
time for family worship you may want to re-think
your reasons.
Most families today
maintain a frenetic pace. Parents work, children
go to school, and then begin the afternoon
rounds of dance lessons, music lessons,
gymnastics classes, athletic practices, sports
events, birthday parties, youth group
activities, band, drama club, bowling team,
chorus, and church choir. The list of activities
that compete with family life seems endless. In
Article #3 of a 20-part series, Dr. Dunlap
discusses the importance of making time for
family devotions.
Parents often
tell me that they do not lead their families in
family worship because there are so many
obstacles that prevent them from getting
started.
Many fathers
feel unqualified. They don’t know how to conduct
family worship. Most men did not grow up in a
family where their father was a godly role model
and thus, they have no example to follow. Some
men, whose fathers did establish a habit of
regular family worship, remember being bored by
long, tedious family worship sessions and they
are determined not to put their children through
the same ordeal.
Saying that
we don’t have enough time is never a legitimate
excuse.
Time is
almost always a factor in a man’s reluctance to
commit himself to leading family worship on a
regular basis. We should not be deceived where
time is concerned. We have the same number of
hours in a day that Jesus had when He conducted
His earthly ministry.
The truth is
that we make enough time each day for the things
that are most important to us. We also waste
large portions of time in idle pursuits. God
expects us to steward our time wisely and He
will one day require us to give an account of
how we spent our time.
Men who
refuse to assume their responsibility to lead
their family in worship are guilty of disobeying
the Lord.
Selfishness
and pride often keep men from leading their
families in worship. They are convinced that if
they work hard and provide for their family
materially, they have done enough. They believe
that they can leave the spiritual training of
their wives and children to the
“professionals”—their church leaders and
teachers. God clearly calls Christian men,
however, to “wash their wives with the Word,”
and to raise their children in the “nurture and
admonition of the Lord.”
Many moms
tell me they feel like a taxi driver,
chauffeuring their children from one activity to
the next.
Another
perplexing obstacle is the lack of motivation
that most men experience when they approach the
topic of family worship. Our homes too often
function as entertainment centers. When children
are not being stimulated with computer games,
videos and television programs, Mom is shuttling
them to countless activities that are sure to
prevent boredom from overtaking them.
Have we
bought into the mentality that children no
longer know how to enjoy the delight of playing
outdoors? Do we keep them so busy that they miss
the wonder of being children? Have we failed to
encourage them to read great books for the sheer
pleasure of reading? Must we plan and supervise
every spare minute of our children’s lives and
thereby rob them of the joy of spontaneity?
Should we allow activities—even the excellent
ones—to crowd God out of our families? |
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Does God Call Us to Entertain Our Children?
Have you thought about whether
your home is a place of entertainment or an
educational center?
Is your home filled with
equipment intended for entertainment and
leisure? If so, perhaps it would be worth
reconsidering your goals and vision for how you
want to lead your family in spiritual growth. In
the 4th segment of a 20-article
series on family devotions, Dr. Debbi Dunlap
encourages parents to examine their motivation
quotient as it relates to regularly leading
their children in family worship.
When my wife
and I visited some casual Christian friends a
few months ago, our host and hostess invited us
to tour their beautiful home. We were amazed to
see televisions and VCR’s in every bedroom, and
Playstation game systems in each of the
children’s rooms. As Neanderthal as it must
sound, we have actually managed to raise ten
children with no TV or video games in our
household at all. What’s even more amazing is
that all of our children are generally perceived
to be well-adjusted individuals and they seem to
possess fairly acceptable social skills.
God’s Word
stands on its own merit. We do not have to use
gimmicks to lure our children to family worship.
Early in our
marriage a godly man and leader, Dr. Howard
Hendricks, challenged us to make our home an
educational center—not an entertainment mecca.
He explained that God wants our homes to be
ministry centers, where children “catch” a
contagious love for Jesus Christ from their
parents—parents who enthusiastically model the
role of servanthood and obedience before their
sons and daughters.
Must we
entertain our children?
Rather than
entertain our children, we decided we would seek
to lovingly train them to be servants for God’s
glory. We were aware of how television robs us
of precious hours and how it serves up a steady
diet of unbiblical, worldly philosophies. We
determined that by God’s grace, we would use the
few short years that our children were entrusted
into our care, to invest God’s Word in them as
creatively and as aggressively as we possibly
could. We purposed to guard their tender hearts
and impressionable minds from the influences
that bombard us through the media.
Many parents
tell me that they simply are not motivated to
train their children in this way. They claim
that it is much easier to let television, for
example, baby-sit their children at the end of a
long, hard day. I ask them to prayerfully
consider the fact that a lack of motivation to
train our children is directly related to our
own spiritual lukewarmness.
We can’t lead
someone to a place where we have not gone. Any
Christian parent that is dealing with low
motivation should cry out to the Lord. He or she
should ask God to ignite a fire of godly love
and devotion in his or her heart—a fire that
will, by God’s grace, spread to each family
member.
Family
members are quick to detect a lack of spiritual
genuineness and authenticity.
Often parents face the obstacle
of a credibility problem with their families.
Because they have not lived a consistent
Christian life before them, their family members
won’t listen to them and they do not respect
their testimonies. Or some parents may feel like
hypocrites trying to lead their families along a
path that they themselves are not walking.
Mothers and
fathers who find themselves in this situation
must humble themselves before God, their spouses
and their children and admit their inadequacies.
They should ask forgiveness for their
disobedience to God, in failing to provide a
worthy example of Christ-like leadership. They
will then be in a position to establish a
meaningful family worship routine. |
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Setting Reachable Goals for Family Worship
Are you “running out of gas” in
your efforts to lead family devotions? Set
simpler goals.
Have you repeatedly begun a
family devotion time, only to find that within
two or three months the plan has fallen by the
wayside? This is a common occurrence, which
usually happens when parents set unrealistic
goals for family worship. In the 5th
article of a 20 part series, Dr. Dunlap explains
that it is better to consistently meet together
to worship as a family than to be defeated
because you don’t meet every day.
Henry and
Jan, parents of four young children, told me
they had tried repeatedly to begin a consistent
family worship plan. They would make a
commitment to each other and to the Lord to get
up an hour earlier, six days a week, and prepare
a worship service and Bible study for the entire
family to participate in. Dejectedly, Jim
reported to me, “We always seem to last for
about four or five weeks, and then something
comes up to disrupt our schedule for a few days
and we drop the routine altogether.”
Do your
family devotions get off to a great start and
trickle off to nothing after a few weeks?
Does this
sound familiar? God intends for Christian
parents to daily entrust to their children, the
truths of His Word. We find detailed
instructions for this process in Proverbs
22:17-19:
Pay attention and listen to the sayings of the
wise; apply your heart to what I teach, for it
is pleasing when you keep them in your heart and
have all of them ready on your lips. So that
your trust may be in the Lord, I teach you
today, even you.
God has a
reason for commanding fathers (and mothers, as
helpers and facilitators) to lead their families
to pursue biblical truths and apply them to
their lives—so that their trust may be in the
Lord.
Every
teaching effort should be motivated by Christ’s
love.
We find
principles in God’s Word that serve as a guide
for men who desire to develop a teaching
ministry in their wives’ and children’s lives.
The writer of 1 Corinthians 16:13,14 exhorts
men, “Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith;
be men of courage; be strong. Do everything in
love.” Women who find themselves in the position
of family devotions leader ought to be
encouraged by this exhortation found in Proverbs
31:
She opens her mouth in wisdom and the teaching
of kindness is on her tongue…charm is deceitful
and beauty is vain but a woman who fears the
Lord shall be praised.
Teaching
children to fear God is a noble calling on every
mother’s life.
Don’t set
unrealistic goals or you will “run out of
steam.”
It is pointless for someone to
demand respect based upon his or her God-given
position of authority. People do not respect
others out of obligation or duty. Christian
parents must earn the right to be heard and
respected by their families. They cannot demand
respect.
Developing a
teaching ministry with our families is a
progressive process. We read this reminder in
Ecclesiastes 3:1, “There is a time for
everything, and a season for every activity
under heaven.” Parents must not expect to
implement a workable family devotional plan
overnight. A regular, meaningful family worship
routine grows gradually, over time. |
You
Can Avoid Parenting Burn-out!
Each child must understand
that he or she plays an important role in maintaining
family routines.
Understanding our
God-given responsibilities, is an important part aspect
of honoring the Lord. As Christian parents, we have an
obligation to teach our children the biblical principle,
“If you don’t work, neither shall you eat.” In the 6th
installment of a 20-part series on family devotions, Dr.
Dunlap offers practical suggestions for teaching our
children valuable life skills, such as lawn care, meal
preparation and laundry upkeep.
Burn-out is a popular term
today. We hear about every kind of burn-out from job and
school burn-out, to marriage and parenting burn-out. As
we draw our strength and endurance from the Lord we can
avoid joining the burn-out ranks. God calls us to
steadily and faithfully run the race that is set before
us, but He does not require us to run at a breakneck
pace. He knows that if we were to run in such an “all
out” way, we wouldn’t last very long.
Start with a doable family
devotional plan.
When we develop a plan for
family devotions, we set ourselves up for failure if we
adopt an all-or-nothing attitude. For example, instead
of trying to meet every day of the week for devotions,
parents might begin to implement their family worship
plan by meeting together three mornings each week for
fifteen-minute sessions. They should strive to be
consistent and resist the temptation to give up.
Revelation 14:12 is a powerful reminder: “This calls for
patient endurance on the part of the saints who obey
God’s commandments and remain faithful to Jesus.”
When we teach children
practical skills we must seize the opportunity to teach
accompanying spiritual truths.
Fathers and mothers should
take seriously, their commission to teach their children
personal disciplines and life skills. They must teach
children to cheerfully and successfully fulfill their
household chores and responsibilities. Including
children in the food preparation process, for example,
affords parents the opportunity to teach science and
math. Children as young as two or three years old can
fold dish towels and face cloths. Taking part in laundry
upkeep helps children understand the rule, “If you mess
it up, you clean it up.” When a child learns lawn care
he or she acquires knowledge pertaining to agriculture
and science. Children who help their parents or
grandparents with household repair work gain excellent
handyman skills for the future, when they will be in
charge of managing a home.
Be certain that you assign
age-appropriate chores so you do not unnecessarily
frustrate your children.
Parents must lead each
child, down to the very youngest, to understand that he
or she is vitally important to the smooth functioning of
the family routine. Fathers and mothers ought to
regularly remind their children to heed the warning of 2
Thessalonians 3:10, “If a man will not work, neither
should he eat.” Parents should assign individual chores
and responsibilities to correspond with the age and
maturity level of each child. Parents who reward jobs
that are done well with gratitude, praise and positive
reinforcement will be pleased with the growth that they
observe in their children.
Although mothers and
fathers should keep their ultimate goals in mind, they
should begin with a realistic, attainable goal. We find
specific encouragement for this endeavor in Isaiah
28:10, “For He says, 'Precept upon precept, line upon
line, a little here, a little there.’ ” We often
unnecessarily set ourselves up for discouragement and
defeat by having a perfectionist mentality. This
mistaken thinking says, “If we can’t carry out our plan
exactly as we envisioned it, then we won’t do it at
all.” Elisabeth Elliot offers simple, yet wise and
helpful advice for such an endeavor as implementing a
family worship plan: “Do what you can
do. Do what you can do.” Parents
should be sure to thank God for any progress their
family makes as they begin to establish a habit of
family devotions.
The
Ingredients of Family Worship
Just getting family
devotions started? Try different ideas and keep sessions
short and simple.
Do you sometimes find that
your family is in a “family devotions rut” using the
same ideas repeatedly? In Article #7 of 20, Dr. Dunlap
shares several helpful ideas for varying your approach
to family worship. Some suggestions include using Bible
Flash Stories and CEF Mission Stories, reading hymn
histories and biographies, playing simple instruments,
listening to tapes, and memorizing Scripture with hand
motions.
What are the key elements
of family worship? The most important one is worship.
Most adult Believers do not understand what their chief
purpose in life is. Many would say that God created us
to serve. Others would answer that sharing the Gospel
with others is our utmost reason for living. While both
service and evangelism are vitally important in a
Christian’s life, God’s highest purpose for creating us
was to enjoy regular fellowship with us. Our chief aim
should be to glorify Him. God alone is worthy of our
praise.
Psalm 100:1-4 is an
inspiring passage: “Shout for joy to the Lord, all the
earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before Him
with joyful songs. Know that the Lord is God. It is He
Who made us and we are His…Enter His gates with
thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to
Him and praise His name.”
God is pleased when His
children take the time to worship and adore Him.
It is a good idea always
to begin family devotions with a few minutes of praise
and worship. Be sure to teach your children praise
choruses as well as the great hymns of the faith. Both
have merit. Praise choruses lift us and stir our
hearts, while hymns, which have stood the test of time,
teach us solid doctrine. Acquaint your children with
hymn histories and read biography excerpts of famous
hymn writers. Encourage each child to play an
instrument from time to time, whether it is a violin or
piano, or something as simple as a tambourine or wooden
rhythm blocks.
We should seek to inspire
in our children’s hearts a sincere love for God’s Word.
Scripture reading is the
second ingredient of meaningful family worship. Dr.
Howard Hendricks has often said, “Don’t multiply
scripture. Make it meaningful.” He explains that it is
a crime to bore a child with the Word of God. Use a
variety of approaches. Listen to dramatized Scripture
on cassette tape. Read biographies of missionaries, a
few pages at a time. Or, use the wonderfully
illustrated missionary stories published by Child
Evangelism Fellowship. Memorize scripture verses
together, inventing hand motions to go with the verses
as a memory technique.
Be free to vary your
approaches and keep each session short and simple.
The Bible is the basis for
any successful family devotion plan. Children love
flannel graph stories. Flannel graphs however, are more
time consuming to use than, for example, Flash-a-Card
Bible stories, available through A Beka Publications,
Pensacola Christian College. These are beautifully
illustrated narratives and you can tape the text onto
the back of each card so you can read them aloud with no
advance preparation. Purchase Bible stories and
character-building stories on cassette tapes. Listen to
a tape for a few minutes at a time and briefly discuss
it. Have the children listen to the rest of the story
as they fall asleep that evening. They will beg for
more.
As we continue to consider
the elements of successful family worship, it is
important to keep in mind the fact that we ought to
strive to create in our children a sense of
anticipation—we want them to look forward to family
worship as one of the major highlights of their days.
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Creative Ideas for Family Worship
All out of ideas for creative
family devotion times? Read on for some helpful
suggestions.
If you’re thinking that you
have to invest hours of planning in your family
devotion times, think again! Faithful,
consistent efforts get the job done, no matter
how simple the plan. In the 8th
article of a 20-part series, Dr. Dunlap suggests
several helpful ideas that can be easily
implemented, such as Bible flash-stories,
character qualities, catechism, notes of
encouragement and gratitude journals.
Many parents
feel discouraged and embarrassed by the fact
that they have repeatedly begun a family
devotional plan, only to find that it seems to
fall apart within a few weeks. One of the major
obstacles to maintaining a consistent family
worship time is that parents often attempt a
plan that is too complicated and too
time-consuming. We now continue a list of
suggested activities for family devotions that
are simple and meaningful.
Help your
family develop an “attitude of gratitude.”
Begin a
family journal of thankfulness and write in it
from time to time. Developing a grateful spirit
in our children is of primary importance.
Occasionally take a few minutes during family
devotions to write a family thank-you note to
someone who has done a kind deed for your
family.
Don’t fail to
teach your children godly character.
Take a few
minutes during family worship each week to
discuss a particular character quality from
Scripture. The last three articles in this
series list 49 character qualities taken from
God’s Word. Talk about the definition of the
quality you have chosen to work on and
brainstorm as a family about ways to demonstrate
this character quality throughout the week. Also
explain what happens to relationships when
people fail to demonstrate this particular
quality. Post the “Character Quality of the
Week” on index cards in strategic places around
your home and in your car. Praise family members
who exemplify the character quality during the
week.
Be certain
that your children know what they
believe. Obtain a booklet of catechism questions
and make a copy for each family member.
Familiarize your sons and daughters with great
doctrinal truths by reading a few questions
aloud during family devotions and ask them to
read the answers in unison. You will be amazed
at how quickly they begin to memorize the
questions and the answers.
Remember that
your teaching methods do not have to be fancy or
complicated.
Your family
will appreciate your efforts.
During one
family devotion time each week, you may want to
discuss the sermon that was preached the past
Sunday. Ask if anyone remembers what the
pastor’s topic was and then take turns thinking
of ways to practically apply the truths that
were taught.
Read
interesting and pertinent articles from
Christian magazines. Or, after reading a few
Bible verses aloud, use the “scripture” portion
of family devotions to have family members sign
a greeting card of encouragement for a
missionary, or a sick or grieving friend. The
possibilities are limitless. Remember that when
you lead them lovingly and by faith, the
simplest family worship activity will bless your
family and cause them to grow spiritually. |
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Making Family Prayer Time Meaningful
Want to raise children who know
how to pray? Pray aloud with them and ask them
to pray with you.
Does it seem that you don’t
have enough time in family devotions to cover
all your family’s prayer concerns? In the 9th
part of a 20-article series, Dr. Dunlap suggests
that you divide up family prayer requests in a
prayer journal and develop a simple plan to pray
for certain requests on different days of the
week. He also begins a discussion of thirteen
Life Principles that parents should teach their
children as they train them in the nurture and
admonition of God.
People often
ask me what steps they should follow to conduct
meaningful devotion times with their families. I
suggest that they begin with a time of worship
and praise, and then spend a few minutes reading
the Bible aloud, or using a Bible resource, such
as a cassette tape or a flannel graph story.
Do not
neglect to pray together as a family. Children
need to hear their parents pray aloud.
The third
essential ingredient of family worship is
prayer. Scripture verses abound that teach us
how to pray and that instruct us as to whom we
should pray for. It is a good idea to purchase
an inexpensive spiral notebook and jot down
current prayer requests as reminders to family
members of various prayer concerns.
God commands
us in His Word to pray specifically for
missionaries, for unbelievers, for our enemies,
for those who persecute us, for our church
leaders, for our government leaders, for our
fellow church members, for our closest friends
and for suffering Christians around the world.
Parents should take a few moments each week to
record updates as God answers individual prayer
requests.
Children
should understand the difference between praying
in faith and praying with a demanding, selfish
attitude.
It is wise to
emphasize the fact that we come as little
children to God. We don’t have to phrase our
prayers with fancy or impressive words. God
knows our hearts. Yet, we must also be careful
not to constantly come to God with our hand out,
asking Him for anything that pops in our minds.
Instead we should teach our children to
carefully think through their requests,
realizing they are coming before the King of the
universe.
Mothers and
fathers should make a special point of praying
for each family member—for particular needs, for
ministries, for growth in grace, and for
salvation if any family member has not yet
placed his or her faith and trust in Jesus
Christ. In addition to intercessory prayer,
family members should be sure to take time to
give thanks to God for His blessings, His
provision, His protection and His faithfulness
to their family.
When you
record God’s answers to prayer you have a
priceless journal of His faithfulness to your
family.
It is important to ask each child
to pray aloud from a very young age. Children
will learn to pray by doing it, and as they grow
older they will not feel ashamed to pray in
front of other people. It is best to address one
or two prayer concerns each day and work through
the list gradually.
When the
family reaches the end of the list, they should
take a few moments to review aloud the specific
answers that God has granted to all the written
family requests. Then they should work through
the list again, day by day, from the beginning.
Children will learn the meaning of the
scriptural command to “keep on seeking, knocking
and asking.” |
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Seizing
the Teachable Moments
The Faith, Obedience and Sin
Principles are three important truths we must
teach our children.
When we teach our children
God’s Word, our goal is not simply to fill their
heads with an accumulation of facts. We read in
Scripture that knowledge, alone, puffs us up.
Instead, we want the Bible to come alive for our
children as we study it together during family
worship time. In the 10th segment of
a 20-article series, Dr. Dunlap tells us how we
can better achieve this goal by seizing
“teachable moments.”
Teaching is
the fourth element of family worship. The goal
of teaching is to make the scriptures come alive
for our family. We do this by relating biblical
truths and principles to specific life
situations. As parents, we should be alert to
“learner readiness” in our children’s lives.
When they ask questions, we must be prepared to
answer them and to seize the “teachable
moments.”
Strive to
teach your family to love God—not merely to
accumulate knowledge.
There are
thirteen life principles that parents should
seek to invest in their children as they lead
them in family devotions from year to year. The
first is the Faith Principle. This
principle states that the greatest goal in a
Believer’s life is to live to the glory and
pleasure of God. The writer of Ephesians 2:8-10
enlarges on this principle:
For it is by grace that you have been saved,
through faith—and this not from yourselves, it
is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one
can boast. For we are God’s workmanship, created
in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God
prepared in advance for us to do.
Children
should understand that the key to real freedom
is in cheerfully obeying God-ordained
authorities.
The second
life principle is the Obedience Principle.
This principle states that the key to living a
successful and blessed life is to learn to
respond instantly and obediently to God and to
those people in authority over us. Jesus tells
us in John 14:15,
If you love me, you will obey what I command.
We cannot
claim to love God if we refuse to obey Him.
The third
life principle that Christian parents must teach
their children is the Sin Principle.
This principle states that when we do not
utterly repent of a particular sin and remove it
from our lives, it will increase and seriously
hinder our spiritual growth.
Use family
worship time as an opportunity to teach children
to “reckon themselves as dead to sin and alive
to Christ Jesus.”
The writer of
Romans 6:6,7 declares,
For we know that our old self was crucified with
Him so that the body of sin might be done away
with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin;
because anyone who has died has been freed from
sin.
Parents
should speak often to their children of the
reaping and sowing principle. They must not fail
to teach their sons and daughters that even
after God forgives us of a specific sin, we
often bear the hurtful consequences of our
sinful choices. Parents should be careful to
communicate the vital truth that although God’s
grace is gloriously free, it is not cheap. |
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Teaching Children Life Principles
Family devotion time is a prime
opportunity to invest life-changing principles
in our children.
In the 11th
article of a 20-part series on family devotions,
Dr. Dunlap discusses five important
life-principles that parents should seek to
invest in their children’s lives: the principles
of Sin, Flesh, Forgiveness, Discernment and
Responsibility. He emphasizes the fact that the
best way for our children to recognize error and
deception is to be fully acquainted with God’s
Truth.
When parents
set aside a regular meeting time for family
devotions they have a prime opportunity to
invest life-changing principles in their
children’s lives. We continue our discussion of
several important truths that parents should
strive to teach their children during family
worship time.
Children must
understand that Satan wants to devour
Christians—to destroy their testimonies.
The
Flesh Principle is the fourth principle
and it states that we ought to remove any
objects of temptation from our lives, so that
the flesh will be easier to control. This is
called fleeing temptation.
Children
should understand the fact that they cannot
flirt with sin. Parents must teach their sons
and daughters that Satan is no gentleman. He is
a liar, who, after getting his toe in the
doorway of a particular sin in our lives, flings
the door wide open at the first opportunity.
We read this
warning in Romans 13:14,
But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no
provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.
Sons and
daughters are never too young to begin learning
about the sovereignty of God in their lives.
Principle #5
is the Forgiveness Principle.
Parents should teach children to forgive any
offenses that others commit against them. It is
important to acquaint children with the truth of
God’s sovereignty—the fact that God takes those
things that others intend for evil and uses them
for good in our lives when we love and obey Him.
Children must understand how to apply the
command in Ephesians 4:32,
And be kind to one another, tender-hearted,
forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also
has forgiven you.
Parents
should teach children to quickly repent of any
grudge that they may have against someone who
has hurt them. It is vital to explain that when
we allow a root of bitterness to spring up in
our hearts, we harm ourselves and we defile the
lives of other people as well.
The best way
to recognize error is to know the Truth.
The sixth
principle is called the Discernment
Principle. This is the ability to
separate truth from error. As our children
exercise this skill, they will become
increasingly adept at recognizing deception when
they encounter it throughout their lives. We
read in Philippians 1:9,
And this I pray, that your love may abound still
more and more in real knowledge and all
discernment.
The
Responsibility Principle is principle
#7. A child must learn and do what both God and
other people expect from him or her. Parents
should challenge children to fulfill their
responsibilities cheerfully and diligently. They
should be aware that God requires them to assume
full responsibility for their every thought,
word and deed. They must realize that God also
holds them responsible for past sins and expects
them to repent, if necessary, and to make
appropriate restitution. The writer of Acts
24:16 instructs us,
So I strive always to keep my conscience clear
before God and man.
Children must
understand that God commands His children to
“add to their faith, a clear conscience.” |
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Children Can Become Faithful Stewards
Parents are responsible to help
their children steward their possessions and
choose godly friends.
Do your children understand
the principle that they can never out-give God?
Are they storing up “treasures in heaven?” Do
they seem to be more loyal to their peers than
to their parents? In the 12th segment
of a 20-article series on family worship, Dr.
Dunlap continues his discussion of important
life principles that parents should communicate
to their children. He explains the principles of
stewardship and loyalty.
Many parents
want to fulfill the God-given mandate to teach
their children how to live a successful
Christian life. The task, however, seems
impossible at times.
Most families
today already function at a frantic pace in
order to maintain their overloaded schedules.
The thought of adding more responsibilities to
their daily routines can be overwhelming.
Parents can often undertake this goal, however,
in the comfortable setting of family worship.
God will not
entrust His work to an unfaithful steward.
As we
continue to review the thirteen life principles,
we will now consider number eight, the
Stewardship Principle. Parents must lead
children to acknowledge the fact that they do
not own anything. Children should understand
that everything they have is on loan from God
and that He expects them to take care of the
possessions that He has entrusted to them.
Children must learn to be good
managers, or stewards, and they ought to
understand the principle that when they are
faithful in small things, God will entrust
bigger things to their care.
In early
childhood, children can begin to grasp the
concept of storing up their treasures in heaven.
This
principle is meant to help children learn to set
their affections on “things above,” and not on
material possessions. Jesus taught us that
“where are treasures are, there our hearts will
be also.” Mothers and fathers should teach
children to give generously from a very early
age, encouraging them to remember that no matter
how much they give, they can never out-give God.
Parents ought to acquaint sons and daughters
with the scripture from the book of Job,
The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed
be the name of the Lord.
If children
understand that everything ultimately belongs to
God, they will learn to resist the temptation to
become attached to earthly possessions.
Parents have
an obligation to help their children form
wholesome, God-honoring friendships.
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